Hard THEN Easy!

Last night at the LLLS meeting (Lusty Ladies Literary Society, don’t ask), the book club my daughter, Miriam and I belong to, Heidi, a long time member said to Jenn, a newer member,   “If you haven’t noticed, Miriam and Chris LOVE the word problematic. They use it a lot.” Her comment took me by surprise. I wasn’t aware that either of us overused that particular word. It was, well, problematic.

 

It’s easy to fall into patterns without recognizing them. I appreciate when someone helps you by being brave enough to give you feedback. Thanks, Heidi.

 

On the other hand, there are times when you recognize a pattern yourself. That event usually suggests that it is time to pay attention to the repeated message. That’s been happening to me this week, too. It started when I heard myself say, during a discussion about blending children into a new family, “It will be hard before it gets easier. You have to go through the hard part to get to the easier part.” At the time, I thought, “That’s a good phrase. I need to remember that.” Over the next four days, I’ve been involved in five conversations that required restatement of what seems to be my new catch phrase. Driving back from Mosinee this afternoon, it seemed like this blog was a good place to use it for a sixth time was because people in the midst of change need to hear this message, big time!

 

Change is always going to arrive with elements that are hard in the beginning. Doing something in a new way, employing a new skill, or even invoking a new thought pattern will always be tougher than doing, employing, or evoking the tried, tested, and mastered. That’s why change, in and of itself, is difficult. You resolve to change; you start – even with enthusiasm – and take a few tentative steps. And all too soon it gets hard – not better. Quitting is easier than continuing. No wonder we hate change and don’t do it very well.

 

See if this seems familiar. Try changing your eating patterns. Today is the day, you say to yourself as you climb out of bed. You eat a good breakfast. Head off to the office and meet a co-worker who’s carrying a box of freshly baked donuts because it’s her birthday. “Pour yourself a cup of coffee and head to the conference room,” she says, “I got you your favorite – chocolate covered with sprinkles.” Okay, you think, tomorrow will be a better day to get this diet off the ground. It will be hard before it gets easier.

 

No wonder people who make tough changes successfully seem so rare. It’s not because they can’t do something different – it’s because most people are unlikely to keep doing the difficult thing long enough to make it a new normal. We don’t realize the absolute reality that it WILL be hard before it gets easier. You have to go through the hard part to get to the easier part. Allow me to be the one to mention it!

Comments

[Leslie Charles]

My blog visited your blog today and your article on the hard part preceding the easy part is spot on! Of course, change is hard, but so what?

NOT changing is even harder, in the long term.

Thank you for a clear, concise and inspiring post. I am in the midst of changing my eating and exercise patterns so your comments are timely.