As promised,
here’s the balance of the list Rachael sent me. May the laughter continue!
20.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly
realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
21. I
would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2
trips to bring my groceries in.
22. The
only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
23. I
have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. How
many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
25. I
love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a
jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
26.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you
can wear them forever.
27.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know
what time it is.
28.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a
pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'll
bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7
seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
29. My
check engine light has been on for three months now and nothing's happened. I'm
starting to think that my car is just an attention whore.
30. I
don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have
fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when
they've invented the lighter?
31.
Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good
memory apparently equates to creepiness.
32. My
GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."
33.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all
I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
34. My
keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.
35.
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
36. I
wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, "Excuse me, would
you like me to show you how to discipline your child?"
37. I
never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving.
Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium
afterwards?
38.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be
called Diet Oreos.
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