More Change

The World Has Changed

Just in case you haven’t noticed, THE WORLD HAS CHANGED.

You could, if you wanted to say something really stupid to a group of friends and then, if they repeated it, you could deny ever uttering those words. However, if you write that same comment, post it on Facebook or send it as a Twitter, you’re toast!     

In the last 3 days I’ve encountered several stories of people, young people – not Baby Boomers who might be excused for not understand all this yet, but peers of the very people who’ve invented and popularized these tools posting stuff that has gotten them fired, arrested, and suspended. I’m with the President. Each one of these stories is a definition of acting stupidly!

I’ll admit that I’m struggling to find my place in the Social Networking World and although I haven’t figured it all out yet, there is one thing I do know. IF YOU DON’T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW ABOUT IT, DON’T POST IT ANYWHERE!

What Do You Rule?

I spent yesterday with my middle grandson, Elroy, who was wearing a yellow crown he made at a local art event. When asked why he had a crown on, he replied matter-of-factly, "I'm the King of Pretending."

Wow! What confidence in that statement. At 5, most of us believed that we could do anything. If we were fortunate, we were surrounded by people who reinforced that belief.

Aging affects more than memory, strength, and health. It can, if we don't pay attention, undermine our self-confidence. When was the last time you announce yourself the King or Queen of anything. Out loud. In public. With a crown on you head.

This lessening of belief in your ability is a change you don't have to accept! You just have to practice claiming your unique talents and abilities. Out loud. In public.

By the way, a crown helps!

Hard THEN Easy!

Last night at the LLLS meeting (Lusty Ladies Literary Society, don’t ask), the book club my daughter, Miriam and I belong to, Heidi, a long time member said to Jenn, a newer member,   “If you haven’t noticed, Miriam and Chris LOVE the word problematic. They use it a lot.” Her comment took me by surprise. I wasn’t aware that either of us overused that particular word. It was, well, problematic.

 

It’s easy to fall into patterns without recognizing them. I appreciate when someone helps you by being brave enough to give you feedback. Thanks, Heidi.

 

On the other hand, there are times when you recognize a pattern yourself. That event usually suggests that it is time to pay attention to the repeated message. That’s been happening to me this week, too. It started when I heard myself say, during a discussion about blending children into a new family, “It will be hard before it gets easier. You have to go through the hard part to get to the easier part.” At the time, I thought, “That’s a good phrase. I need to remember that.” Over the next four days, I’ve been involved in five conversations that required restatement of what seems to be my new catch phrase. Driving back from Mosinee this afternoon, it seemed like this blog was a good place to use it for a sixth time was because people in the midst of change need to hear this message, big time!

 

Change is always going to arrive with elements that are hard in the beginning. Doing something in a new way, employing a new skill, or even invoking a new thought pattern will always be tougher than doing, employing, or evoking the tried, tested, and mastered. That’s why change, in and of itself, is difficult. You resolve to change; you start – even with enthusiasm – and take a few tentative steps. And all too soon it gets hard – not better. Quitting is easier than continuing. No wonder we hate change and don’t do it very well.

 

See if this seems familiar. Try changing your eating patterns. Today is the day, you say to yourself as you climb out of bed. You eat a good breakfast. Head off to the office and meet a co-worker who’s carrying a box of freshly baked donuts because it’s her birthday. “Pour yourself a cup of coffee and head to the conference room,” she says, “I got you your favorite – chocolate covered with sprinkles.” Okay, you think, tomorrow will be a better day to get this diet off the ground. It will be hard before it gets easier.

 

No wonder people who make tough changes successfully seem so rare. It’s not because they can’t do something different – it’s because most people are unlikely to keep doing the difficult thing long enough to make it a new normal. We don’t realize the absolute reality that it WILL be hard before it gets easier. You have to go through the hard part to get to the easier part. Allow me to be the one to mention it!

Change and Creativity Part 3

How did that happen? Its next week already. I hope this topic is interesting enough for a 3 week post cause here’s the last one. You may remember that this all started because I was thinking about the 8 years of eLetters, Thinking for a Change that I’ve written and sent around the world (If for some strange reason you aren’t already subscribed, here’s the link. It is free, very short, and thought provoking. What are you waiting for?) and I thought I’d take this opportunity to explain where the ideas come from. So far, we’ve covered that you have to have regular connections to a variety of sources, keep a notebook handy so you have a place to write down the ideas you find, and here’s the really big payoff, number 3: have a focus.

When you know what you’re looking for and are interested in AND you let others know it too, they start feeding you information. You will be amazed how much people want to share information and how much information they have to share, as soon as they know you’re looking. Every week after Thinking for a Change hits inboxes wonderful people click the email Chris button and send me stories, quotes, song titles, book suggestions, and their reaction to my musings. I love each one of them. Many of them have found their way into future issues, some become new material for presentations, and if nothing else, a terrific reason for a smile in the middle of the daily email avalanche.

 (BTW If you’re one of those wonderful people who has sent me a comment or quote over the years, allow me to say a big THANK YOU! Keep ‘em coming. And to the person who sent the embedded Change picture – WOW! You’ve got to know I loved this one a lot.) 

Now you may not have an email that goes to thousands of people weekly, but this will work for you just the same. You just have to announce your interests and then listen to what others have to say and share. Newspaper clippings will show up in your mail (yes, people do still send letters through the USPS). Pictures in your inbox. Jokes left on voice mail. Book recommendations over cocktails. Even buttons and bumper stickers for your lapel and car. All ideas you wouldn’t necessarily discover on your own but that will enrich your world view when you share your focus and pay attention.

Let’s see how it works. I’m creating a playlist of songs about change. Blog posted in 2 weeks will list my Top 10. Want to submit a song for me to consider? Send me a comment with your entry and see if it makes the list. I have a clean page in my notebook and credit to spend on iTunes.